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When life gives you lemons...find a little kid with a paper-cut!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was impossible for a whale to swallow a human. Even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

I fell out of my chair..........this might take awhile

A b c d e f g gummie bears are chasing me. One is red and one is blue, the yellow one just ate my shoe. Now you know why I am gone. The gummie war has just begun

I like people. I like people who smell like cookies && a guy walking down the street smelled like chocolate chip cookies..so i am now following him.

Picking my bellybutton... O.M.G WUTS THAT!